THE POWER OF A PARADIGM

According to Steven Covey, author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, a paradigm is the lens through which we see the world.

Paradigm  - Dictionary definition: A set of assumptions, concepts, values and practices that constitute a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them.

Let me break it down in a less boring way.

Imagine yourself wearing a pair of glasses. Would you see clearly? Picture yourself driving with a broken windshield. Would you go far?

A paradigm is like a pair of glasses or a windshield. It is the eyes we use to see the world. And how we see the world influences how we act.

For example, I was always TOLD that dogs are vicious monstrous creatures. To make things better, we had two huge German Shepherds growing up. I would NEVER leave the house if they weren’t in their kennels. I would imagine that if I ever met with them, they’d tear me to pieces. This fear grew with me till adulthood. It was so profound that if I saw a dog lying on the road, I’d go back to wherever it is I was coming from.

A few months ago, I visited the countryside and there were dogs everywhere. One day, while I was home alone, a huge puppy came running towards me. I thought, “This is it! Goodbye cruel world.” But she just licked my hands and smiled. I couldn’t say that I got over my fear of dogs that day but after constant exposure that fear faded.

 

Now there are many things that we are told as children or even adults. Many times people didn’t actually say it but you could see it through their actions. You are too slow, you’re not smart enough, you are too fat, you are not strong enough, you’ll never amount to anything, you are not as pretty as she is, why can’t you be like him… And the list is endless. 

These distorted views end up affecting our lives from our relationships, to our careers, our finances and even our happiness. 

However, the good news about paradigms is that they can be changed. It all starts with looking at your beliefs. What are they and where do they come from? Are they true? 

People project their own flaws onto you. For example, a person who chooses to talk to people of a certain class, race or social status, only shows how shallow THEY are. It has nothing to do with you. A parent who favors a child over another because they are athletic, shows how flawed THEY are. Has nothing to do with you. A teacher who says you'll never amount to anything, shows how incompetent THEY are. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

When we were children, we took everything as gospel truth. As adults we can CHOOSE to IGNORE the negativity and only believe the TRUTH about ourselves. 

We can CHANGE our paradigms. We can dig deeper into who we really are as opposed as to what people want us to be.

And it all starts with changing our beliefs. Here’s one… You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.